Their Voices Must Be Heard

It’s impossible to avoid the topic of sexual abuse on the news.   The personal stories those brave young women shared about Larry Nassar go just so far beyond words, and I know many of us cannot watch these women speak without tears rolling down our cheeks.    It’s incomprehensible.  This story in particular has tore the face off of a subject that traditionally gets buried beneath the surface of society.  As a mother of 2 small children, I need to know...how do I create the most open and honest dialogue with my little ones?  How do I  ensure that our relationship is built on trust and honesty, where they know that they can share anything and everything with me? How do I teach them that they must speak up and that their voices need to be heard?  How do I even begin to address these topics when they are old enough to understand.


So many questions...so I started researching and have found some articles that might help all of us.

• Fostering Open Communication and Trust:
  • Here are 5 ways we can do this, like always asking for your child’s opinion and understanding his point of view - creating trust and a willingness to share their thoughts:  http://www.rulesofparenting.com/letting-it-all-out-5-ways-to-foster-open-communication-with-your-child/
  • This article lists 7 powerful ways we can improve existing communication, like responding to your child with REAL emotion and encouraging our children to be “emotionally literate”.  http://time.com/65324/7-powerful-tips-for-great-parent-child-communication/
  • More tips for the best communication, like trying to respond to them in a way they will hear - acknowledging that it’s OK to disagree and focusing on your child’s feelings, rather than your own.  http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/communication-parents.aspx
  • Build trust by keeping confidences, making sure our children know beforehand if we are going to share anything that they consider “private”.  Respond, keep promises, and tell the truth.   http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/communication/trust

• Helping Our Children Speak Up:
  • One of the many ways we can encourage our children to speak their mind is reinforcing the fact that “no means no”.  That also means we have to listen when they tell us “no”.  If they tell us to stop tickling them, or if they say no to hugging someone, we must respect their wishes.  http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/12/29/teach-kids-speak-up_a_23319489/

​
​

• Addressing the Topic of Sexual Abuse:
  • First and foremost: “Parents should teach kids how to identify things that make them uncomfortable by asking questions that help them to listen to their bodies”.  Preventative Education is critical.  http://abcnews.go.com/US/larry-nassar-talk-kids-sexual-abuse/story?id=52434084
  • Here are 10 pieces of advice to help us address this topic, like teaching your kids to be assertive (and encouraging a discussion with our children about the difference between being assertive and aggressive).    http://www.firstforwomen.com/posts/talk-to-kids-larry-nassar-152633

Bottom line: they must learn that it’s always OK to speak up if something doesn't feel right.